The Holy Spirit is the messenger of healing, the messenger of love. The Holy Spirit is within us. He is symbolically represented in fairy tales as the prince who comes along and delivers the kiss of true love to awaken the sleeping beauty(A Return to Love). Names can sometimes turn us off because of the heavy weight they seem to carry with them. I know for me, sometimes the word God has unbearable weight; it carries with it judgment, and such guilt. But when I came to realization that God, the Holy Spirit, means love; they mean the powerful healing and comfort that has been awakened inside of me, they mean the freedom to be me, to see myself as a wonderful being of light, and have no fear, their weight lifted remarkably.
All my life I always dealt with some heavy energy or other; between the conflict and violence that took place at home, and my not having the tools in which to protect myself from the inside, I remember always having a very difficult time breathing. Psychologically, it was as though I felt so much heaviness and conflict in the air I was finished with taking it in. Later, this emotion would develop into a severe eating disorder, and problems with food.
From a very early age, most of us will have had some kind of breach of trust in our lives; we will have experienced pain, and in the process, will have been taught to function out of fear, rather than love. As we grow up, the way in which we view the world will become very 'ego- centric.' A self whose mode of living is pain, and functions out of the past. Since it is viral in the way it plagues and feeds on us, so it does with every living things around it. We have, by our teen years pretty much been trained identify with this self, and our true self - the self that knows itself in the harmony and peace of love/God, has gone to sleep, it has been buried.
The ego will sit around and wait for something, or someone comes along to feed it - it can take no accountability for its own life or it's own pain. Love, your true, magnificent self, takes a stand and you decide to let go, forgive, and make peace. The true self, is not too proud to ask for help, the true self, in its essence is not in conflict with itself or with anyone else around it because, it is in its essence, everything and everyone else - it is the love of God, the Creator. The Bible says we were made in the image of God. What this means is that you and God are co-creators of love, and so is everyone else. Now, at the age of 21, I am realizing that all that heaviness that plagued me as a child has not been resolved, I have held onto it for many years, having functioned from a place of fear, I was afraid of it, and afraid to let it go, because so it is with the ego self; although within the depths of our being, we want to be rid of the anguish, immediately, our pain is all we have ever known, and so we cling to it. Now, I am in the process of freeing myself from the past. I am learning how to let go, through the recognition that I have complete control of my being, and through that recognition, there is a phenomenal realization: there's a place for all that pain to go - you can give it all to God. This is a thought that, as many who have been threatened with the idea of God, including myself, may cause much anger and anxiety; let go and let God? Nooo way...God is a lying, manipulating son-of-a-bitch, He's the one who put under such fear to do whatever he wants me to do in the first place." What I came to realize through the awakening of my "sleeping beauty" is that God is love. There is no way I could meet myself for the first time and not meet God. As I live my life everyday, every second, my true self is taking a stand and I am choosing to see myself through with love, the past can not stay. From the depths of my being, old memories are working their way out and through me. To release myself from this intensity; letting it happen without judging, I learned a simple but powerful chant that I repeat over and over again; working on a conscious choice to feel those words, and relinquish my judgmental mind to that of love, that of my true self. It goes like this " I forgive you, I love you, , I release you to the Holy Spirit." With that I first change my mind and rather than condemn myself, I forgive myself, then I surround myself with love, I feel that love the very depths of my wounded heart, then I call on the Holy Spirit, and give Him permission to release me from my pain. The Holy Spirit is an extension of God, so it is an extension of the love of God. The love of God will never breach our free will. But with our conscious permission, we create a miracle; we release ourselves from the past.
We were never meant to go through life alone. Our existence is that of the power of love. The experience of the true -self; a continuous flow of love that fills the senses and dissolves the anguish of our heart of the past, and just has this incredible impulse to give - is one that cannot be comprehended by the web of 'logic' woven by the fearful self. When I learned that the relinquishing of myself to love, meant, in fact freeing myself from pain, and that my birthright is to live in the flow of this perfect peace, this is when, the layers, upon layers of fear began to dissolve. Relinquishing the worries, and the pain is actually allowing your own magnificent light to shine, and giving ourselves that beautiful love, so that we may heal. There are situations that I find myself in; certain people who, for one reason or another seem to bring all my fears to the surface, and before I know it I can't breath and I'm having a panic attack. The ego says "damn girl do something for Christ's sake!" And another voice comes and takes over "oh no, oh no, oh no, not again, shit I'm such a failure." There are thousands of these voices that the ego unleashes on the psyche. You have to remember: the ego lives because of pain, for pain, and therefore it has to inevitably create more pain. It is constantly in attack, accuse, victim mode. It hates to be alone, yet, it makes sure that it is always alone. Marianne Williamson reflects on a spiritual practice/teaching a Course in Miracles in her book A Return to Love that our demons, or our pain "are our wounds"; they are windows in our house of love that we boarded up a long time ago, letting no light in as our solution to protecting ourselves from more pain. What the ego doesn't want you to know is that first of all it's only purpose is to block out our light; the experience of ourselves, which is the giving of and receiving of true love and happiness, and then second, this leads us to believe that there is no solution to our anguish. This is what it means to say "we are are our greatest enemy." I go throughout my day with my constant chant, and practice of releasing pain and receiving love to give love: "I forgive you, I love you, I release you to the Holy Spirit." As soon as some situation or person draws out the worst in me, instead of fighting it, this is the ego mind, and condemning myself for these feelings, this is also the ego mind, I stop and ask the Holy Spirit to come and heal my mind. This is not a unconscious act, but a very conscious one. The Holy Spirit, the extension of love, because it is pure love will not ever breach your free-will, so this is where the utter consciousness on our part steps in; we consciously relinquish our pain to the Holy Spirit. We allow ourselves- that boarded up house to finally fill with love and be healed. We allow love to shine and free our minds from the anguish of not being able to experience this love.
I never liked the idea that I'm the sinner and God needs to save me. It sounded to manipulative; something inside me wanted to know that I am not a being of darkness and misery, I am created in the image of love, but I was afraid to relinquish my pain; what if I let it go, and I find out that there is nothing more to me than that? What if God really is a God of judgment, and my only place is the hell that I knew I got myself into?
This relationship of love that we ourselves, out of our own free-will can establish is one of total peace, Maybe we have a ways to go before our mind is completely healed, and the pain just keeps a comin' from the depths of our wounded minds, but in asking the Holy Spirit to help us to see ourselves differently; helping us to see ourselves the way we are, not the way we have been seeing ourselves as the ego's hallucination, our work to heal through love becomes peaceful; there is always hope and there is always moving forward.
All my life I always dealt with some heavy energy or other; between the conflict and violence that took place at home, and my not having the tools in which to protect myself from the inside, I remember always having a very difficult time breathing. Psychologically, it was as though I felt so much heaviness and conflict in the air I was finished with taking it in. Later, this emotion would develop into a severe eating disorder, and problems with food.
From a very early age, most of us will have had some kind of breach of trust in our lives; we will have experienced pain, and in the process, will have been taught to function out of fear, rather than love. As we grow up, the way in which we view the world will become very 'ego- centric.' A self whose mode of living is pain, and functions out of the past. Since it is viral in the way it plagues and feeds on us, so it does with every living things around it. We have, by our teen years pretty much been trained identify with this self, and our true self - the self that knows itself in the harmony and peace of love/God, has gone to sleep, it has been buried.
The ego will sit around and wait for something, or someone comes along to feed it - it can take no accountability for its own life or it's own pain. Love, your true, magnificent self, takes a stand and you decide to let go, forgive, and make peace. The true self, is not too proud to ask for help, the true self, in its essence is not in conflict with itself or with anyone else around it because, it is in its essence, everything and everyone else - it is the love of God, the Creator. The Bible says we were made in the image of God. What this means is that you and God are co-creators of love, and so is everyone else. Now, at the age of 21, I am realizing that all that heaviness that plagued me as a child has not been resolved, I have held onto it for many years, having functioned from a place of fear, I was afraid of it, and afraid to let it go, because so it is with the ego self; although within the depths of our being, we want to be rid of the anguish, immediately, our pain is all we have ever known, and so we cling to it. Now, I am in the process of freeing myself from the past. I am learning how to let go, through the recognition that I have complete control of my being, and through that recognition, there is a phenomenal realization: there's a place for all that pain to go - you can give it all to God. This is a thought that, as many who have been threatened with the idea of God, including myself, may cause much anger and anxiety; let go and let God? Nooo way...God is a lying, manipulating son-of-a-bitch, He's the one who put under such fear to do whatever he wants me to do in the first place." What I came to realize through the awakening of my "sleeping beauty" is that God is love. There is no way I could meet myself for the first time and not meet God. As I live my life everyday, every second, my true self is taking a stand and I am choosing to see myself through with love, the past can not stay. From the depths of my being, old memories are working their way out and through me. To release myself from this intensity; letting it happen without judging, I learned a simple but powerful chant that I repeat over and over again; working on a conscious choice to feel those words, and relinquish my judgmental mind to that of love, that of my true self. It goes like this " I forgive you, I love you, , I release you to the Holy Spirit." With that I first change my mind and rather than condemn myself, I forgive myself, then I surround myself with love, I feel that love the very depths of my wounded heart, then I call on the Holy Spirit, and give Him permission to release me from my pain. The Holy Spirit is an extension of God, so it is an extension of the love of God. The love of God will never breach our free will. But with our conscious permission, we create a miracle; we release ourselves from the past.
We were never meant to go through life alone. Our existence is that of the power of love. The experience of the true -self; a continuous flow of love that fills the senses and dissolves the anguish of our heart of the past, and just has this incredible impulse to give - is one that cannot be comprehended by the web of 'logic' woven by the fearful self. When I learned that the relinquishing of myself to love, meant, in fact freeing myself from pain, and that my birthright is to live in the flow of this perfect peace, this is when, the layers, upon layers of fear began to dissolve. Relinquishing the worries, and the pain is actually allowing your own magnificent light to shine, and giving ourselves that beautiful love, so that we may heal. There are situations that I find myself in; certain people who, for one reason or another seem to bring all my fears to the surface, and before I know it I can't breath and I'm having a panic attack. The ego says "damn girl do something for Christ's sake!" And another voice comes and takes over "oh no, oh no, oh no, not again, shit I'm such a failure." There are thousands of these voices that the ego unleashes on the psyche. You have to remember: the ego lives because of pain, for pain, and therefore it has to inevitably create more pain. It is constantly in attack, accuse, victim mode. It hates to be alone, yet, it makes sure that it is always alone. Marianne Williamson reflects on a spiritual practice/teaching a Course in Miracles in her book A Return to Love that our demons, or our pain "are our wounds"; they are windows in our house of love that we boarded up a long time ago, letting no light in as our solution to protecting ourselves from more pain. What the ego doesn't want you to know is that first of all it's only purpose is to block out our light; the experience of ourselves, which is the giving of and receiving of true love and happiness, and then second, this leads us to believe that there is no solution to our anguish. This is what it means to say "we are are our greatest enemy." I go throughout my day with my constant chant, and practice of releasing pain and receiving love to give love: "I forgive you, I love you, I release you to the Holy Spirit." As soon as some situation or person draws out the worst in me, instead of fighting it, this is the ego mind, and condemning myself for these feelings, this is also the ego mind, I stop and ask the Holy Spirit to come and heal my mind. This is not a unconscious act, but a very conscious one. The Holy Spirit, the extension of love, because it is pure love will not ever breach your free-will, so this is where the utter consciousness on our part steps in; we consciously relinquish our pain to the Holy Spirit. We allow ourselves- that boarded up house to finally fill with love and be healed. We allow love to shine and free our minds from the anguish of not being able to experience this love.
I never liked the idea that I'm the sinner and God needs to save me. It sounded to manipulative; something inside me wanted to know that I am not a being of darkness and misery, I am created in the image of love, but I was afraid to relinquish my pain; what if I let it go, and I find out that there is nothing more to me than that? What if God really is a God of judgment, and my only place is the hell that I knew I got myself into?
This relationship of love that we ourselves, out of our own free-will can establish is one of total peace, Maybe we have a ways to go before our mind is completely healed, and the pain just keeps a comin' from the depths of our wounded minds, but in asking the Holy Spirit to help us to see ourselves differently; helping us to see ourselves the way we are, not the way we have been seeing ourselves as the ego's hallucination, our work to heal through love becomes peaceful; there is always hope and there is always moving forward.